Summer is just bubbling along here in Bethlehem, NC. 

The kids have had various activities, Driver’s ed for Anna, Bible School for all of the kids, Boy Scout Camp for Isaac, and church camp for Anna and Emily.  This week is pretty quiet with only Isaac at home, but it has started out to be a good week. 

Tony got new breaks put on the van.  That is a comforting thought with more trips up the mountain planned for this month.  I’ve been busy cleaning and sorting messes at the house.  We’ve had good friends and good food…. life is good.

The one fly in the ointment this week has been the realization that someone from my past is posting my videos of Anna and Emily on their website as though they actually had a part in their lives.  Then other people have made comments like, “One day they’ll know the truth.”  It was somewhat disconcerting at first to think that people would condone the choices this person has made.  That they would actually support that person.

I’ve done a fair amount of thinking and sorting through it.  First of all.  Good for him.  He has found videos of the girls that were intended to be shared with their grandma.  We also noticed that he was doing his looking and posting near my birthday.  That is probably no coincidence.  I don’t wish him any ill will…. but I do wish him the realization that when you make a choice to stop supporting, contacting, visiting, and being even listed as their “dad” on their birth certificate, it is hard to claim that you are a “Proud Dad.”  When in fact, you have absolutely no rights to them at all.  You see, when you make a choice to allow a real man to adopt your biological children, it negates any “ownership” to them at all.

Comments like, oh, they look like him.  Emily does not look like him except for hair color.  Dark hair is pretty common really.  Or, she has his talent.  Ummmmm, singing doesn’t only run in one side of her biology… in fact as I remember it, ummmmm never mind. … 

Emily is NOT like him.  She is bright.  She is talented.  She is wonderful in spite of the choices made by him.  She has excelled even when her biological father could only see himself. 

Anna is NOT like him.  She knocks the top off everything she tries.  She is loving.  She is caring.  She is a success even with things that he did to her.  But only once….. you see, as a Mom, you just can’t allow your children to be hurt by adults that are supposed to be protecting and nurturing htem.   

I am so blessed to be in the life I have.  Anna and Emily are so blessed to have this life.  A life where it is ok to be a strong woman.  A life where it is good to know your own mind.  A life where you don’t have to follow around a self-centered egotistical person.  You see, life is about raising up your family in as Godly a way as possible.  It is about putting them first.  It is about building relationships….. a man who gives his children up for adoption is certainly not building those relationships. 

My children, all of them.  Even the ones that only claim me as their wicked step mother, are very blessed children.  you see…. they have an earthly father who loves them very much.  A man who works hard to provide for their every need and many of their wants.  A man who might not always be ooey gooey icky sicky sweet, but a man who is constant, loving, stable and a real Dad.

So, for all of that….. Tony White, I love you.  I thank you, for rescuing me from the life I once had.  You see, I made the best of it for as long as I could… but I’ll be spending this 8th anniversary with the man I love.  The man of my dreams.  The father of my children…. the real dad…. Tony.  Happy anniversary on July 7.  I’m a blessed woman.